A funny story about our public humiliation

Ironically, on the same day that the whole family took a trip to the Chongqing zoo, it was we who were the beast-like attraction when we tried to make a quick dinner outing.

We'd heard about a "deli" in the mall adjoining our hotel, so the four of us went in search of it. The deli turned out to be a Chinese-style food court, with 10 different places selling dumplings, rice and noodles. Excitedly, we scanned offerings trying to negotiate what everyone would eat, while hanging on to the two wiggling hungry kids in our arms. This alone made people notice us. Even in a sophisticated area like Chongqing, people aren't used to seeing two Caucasians with two Chinese children, and their intense stares remind us of that.

But rather than smoothly order our food using the normal point-and-indicate-quantity-with-fingers method, we were thwarted by a rather complex system of monetary exchange that took 15 minutes and some helpful translators to figure out. You see, each of the food court vendors accepts a special debit card instead of cash, and the card is obtained at a desk in the middle of the food court. Then at the end of the meal, you return the card and get back the cash balance. It all seems so simple now, but in the midst of kids, fidgeting, hunger, and a complete lack of language skills, we looked like a crazed pack of escaped monkeys trying to get the vendors to give us our dumplings and rice dish.

Even after we figured out the system, I went and caused a second-tier scene when I bought an apple for the kids and a beer for us. That part, at least, seemed to have one well, until 10 minutes later when an unexpected drink showed up at our table. It looked and tasted like apple juice, but we hadn't ordered apple juice. Was it an alcoholic cider? We had to know because the girls wanted to drink it something fierce. We tried using a complex system of finger pointing to ask the waiter if the drink was, in fact, for the girls or was it alcoholic like the beer? The only response we could discern -- over and over -- was that it cost 3 yuan and it was ours.

Exhausted but full, we returned to the room where Sophie had her real dinner of cereal. I also vowed that, having now learned the system, we must return tomorrow and have a more dignified meal where people stare at us for the color of our skin, not the ineptitude of our food ordering abilities.