Remember your first lunchbox?

Lisa tells this story:

I remember my first lunch box, a metal "Addams Family" with clipped in thermos, when I started first grade. I think Sophie is going to remember her first lunch box, too.

I planned to let the girls use simple insulated bags to take their
lunch to preschool, but last night I decided to pick up a couple lunch boxes (when I found them half-price). The girls were so excited when I came home and showed them. They pretended to go to work and to school and come home again. They got pretty wound up and it took them a while to get calmed back down for bedtime. This morning Sophie was all smiles and couldn't wait to go to school.

She was awake before I was and greeted me carrying her lunchbox and saying, "Mom, I'm ready to go to school." And she was so excited about the thermos that she wanted soup for breakfast so she could eat out of the little cup.

Missing the girls

They're at the beach, I'm stuck at home. They're playing in the sand, I'm working. But they're happy, and that's what matters.

Note to self: They're listening.

Tonight, we were leaving the house for a walk. I saw a friend of Lisa's who hosted a night of Bunco recently, and said, "There's your Bunco friend."

Sophie started yelling at the top of her lungs, "HEY, BUNCO!" and "HI, BUNCO!" And then BiBi joined in.

Lucky thing I hadn't referred to her as Lisa's "crazy friend" or her "ugly friend."

An actual conversation between the kids

BiBi: That's mine.
Sophie: [louder] No, that's mine.
BiBi: [louder] That's mine!
Sophie: [louder] No, that's mine!
BiBi: [louder still] That's mine!
Sophie: [even louder] No, that's mine!

[pause]

BiBi: Shhhhhhh!

It's the little things

There's a lot of sad news in the world right now -- gas prices, food prices, foreclosure rates, Iraq, the Democratic primary -- but around our house there's no end to things that make us laugh.

The zombie vampires come home

In all of our many journeys the past two weeks, we only had one near-death experience when one of Continental's stellar flight crew decided to give one of our seats to someone else. But we decided that a far worse punishment than death was for her was to be stuck on Earth doing her crappy job for the next 30 years.

If I could have, I would have wished our 12-hour jet lag on her. We're just now starting to get over it, but Sophie still woke up at 3:30 a.m. today ready to go. BiBi took to her new house very quickly, and already seems far more comfortable here than she did in our hotel rooms. As I type this, Sophie just stopped their current jumping game in order to give BiBi a kiss and say, "I love you."

Time to go drink more Diet Mt. Dew and throw in yet another load of travel laundry.

BiBi speaks

A little anyway.

More pics

Sifting through our ever-filling memory cards, I find I just want to put all the pictures online. But I can't. Not yet anyway, and no one would want that anyway. But here are a few.

The night before we leave Chongqing. Lisa is trying to pack, but the girls have other ideas.


At our new hotel in Guanzhou. Once again, the bed is the favorite hangout.


Playing at the Shamian Island park just few hours ago. BiBi isn't as athletic as Sophie (yet), but she knows how to to have fun.

Nighttime is the wrong time

Right now, Lisa is stretched out on the hotel couch reading her book and enjoying an adult beverage. She has to tilt the book in an odd way because there's a little girl asleep on her chest, still strapped into a carrying pouch. This has been the routine for several nights now.

Nighttime is still hard for BiBi. She shrieks and calls out for her foster mother. She begs Lisa to hug her ("MaMa ba" is her cry, over and over). She even begs Lisa to put on shoes so that we'll all go out rather than fall asleep. There's no indication that she has nightmares once she is asleep, but somehow just the act of falling asleep is terrifying to her.

With that one exception, BiBi is as calm and easy-going a kid as you could ask for. Whereas Sophie might break down crying if she can't get her shoe on right, nothing seems to faze BiBi -- nothing until bedtime, that is. They're going to be a study in contrasts.

Live from Guangzhou

But just barely. The two-hour flight from Chongqing turned into an exhausting trip that started at 6 a.m. and is still wrapping up 12 hours later. Traveling with two kids and luggage is exponentially harder than just one, especially when one of them (BiBi) is still clinging to Lisa. Sophie had a nice little meltdown in the middle of the Guangzhou airport, but is feeling much better now.

It's great to be back on the Shamien Island part of Guangzhou -- it's one of those places that, even though there aren't tons of things to do, you just enjoy being here. Everything is strangely exotic and entirely non-Chinese, from the palm trees to the lack of traffic to the peacocks that are current strutting around in the building outside our hotel window. (The same building also houses an ostrich, a monkey and pigeons.) And even though adoption-related traffic is way down, the White People Density Indicator (WPDI) is higher here than probably anywhere in China. I ask you, does this look anything like the high-density, polluted, industrialized China that we see over and over on TV?



We have a medical exam to do, a little paperwork, and a U.S. Consulate appointment, but other than that the week is ours to just walk around, eat, and haggle for touristy merchandise like Rolex knockoffs and girls' silk dresses. And unlike other god-forsaken parts of this country, beer is actually easy to find and is chilling in our mini-bar now.

Sophie and BiBi present: A day in pictures

A pre-zoo picnic:


The ride to the zoo:


The zoo:

A funny story about our public humiliation

Ironically, on the same day that the whole family took a trip to the Chongqing zoo, it was we who were the beast-like attraction when we tried to make a quick dinner outing.

We'd heard about a "deli" in the mall adjoining our hotel, so the four of us went in search of it. The deli turned out to be a Chinese-style food court, with 10 different places selling dumplings, rice and noodles. Excitedly, we scanned offerings trying to negotiate what everyone would eat, while hanging on to the two wiggling hungry kids in our arms. This alone made people notice us. Even in a sophisticated area like Chongqing, people aren't used to seeing two Caucasians with two Chinese children, and their intense stares remind us of that.

But rather than smoothly order our food using the normal point-and-indicate-quantity-with-fingers method, we were thwarted by a rather complex system of monetary exchange that took 15 minutes and some helpful translators to figure out. You see, each of the food court vendors accepts a special debit card instead of cash, and the card is obtained at a desk in the middle of the food court. Then at the end of the meal, you return the card and get back the cash balance. It all seems so simple now, but in the midst of kids, fidgeting, hunger, and a complete lack of language skills, we looked like a crazed pack of escaped monkeys trying to get the vendors to give us our dumplings and rice dish.

Even after we figured out the system, I went and caused a second-tier scene when I bought an apple for the kids and a beer for us. That part, at least, seemed to have one well, until 10 minutes later when an unexpected drink showed up at our table. It looked and tasted like apple juice, but we hadn't ordered apple juice. Was it an alcoholic cider? We had to know because the girls wanted to drink it something fierce. We tried using a complex system of finger pointing to ask the waiter if the drink was, in fact, for the girls or was it alcoholic like the beer? The only response we could discern -- over and over -- was that it cost 3 yuan and it was ours.

Exhausted but full, we returned to the room where Sophie had her real dinner of cereal. I also vowed that, having now learned the system, we must return tomorrow and have a more dignified meal where people stare at us for the color of our skin, not the ineptitude of our food ordering abilities.

Gotcha Day revisited

Gotcha Day is the big moment when an adopting family meets their baby for the first time. It's fraught with tension because you literally have no idea how it's going to play out. Lisa doesn't write much, but she did sit down and share her memories of BiBi's Gotcha, a long long four days ago.

You would not believe how hectic Gotcha was. They met us on the side of the road at a rest stop, and we thought they were meeting us and we would follow them to SWI (the orphanage) for Gotcha. I was on the squatty potty when Jacob yelled in: "They brought BiBi with them!!!!" I hurried as fast as I could, and Jacob waited outside the restroom for me and Sophie. We had already decided that she would be placed in my arms because of how Sophie's Gotcha and attachment went two years ago.

I quickly washed and rinsed my hands (but no towels for drying), ran out and just adored little BiBi. They put her in my arms, and she was quiet and looked at me and then got very upset. Then Sophie and I quickly got into the car with BiBi and the SWI people while Jacob rode with our guide and driver for the 10-minute ride to the SWI. They took us to an office and then a very fast tour of one floor which is the orphanage and into an empty Gracie's Room. The few babies who are not in foster care and living at the orphanage were already in bed for naptime.

Then we left the SWI campus for lunch. The girls hit it off immediately. The SWI director and two others, including one holding a baby to go to Chongqing, went to lunch with us and then rode back to Chongqing with us. The SWI folks didn't really talk to Jacob and me very much.

OK, I don't know if this all makes much sense, but I think you get an idea of how hectic it was.

The foster mother was at the SWI, but they were trying to hide her so that BiBi would not see her. The foster mother was crying and we didn't meet her. [Jacob here: In fact, the formed a human barricade so the foster mother could get close to Lisa and BiBi.] They all did an excellent job of preparing BiBi for her MaMa and JiaJia, but she didn't seem so knowledgeable about BaBa. At bedtime now she calls out for someone, and I'm certain it is the foster mom. She grieves until she falls asleep for about 20-45 minutes. It is heartbreaking. And she won't let me put her down. Then when she wakes in the morning she is happy to see MaMa and JiaJia (and I'm sure Daddy too). It takes her a while to wake up -- very quiet for a little bit, but then starts talking nonstop.

Lisa's description is right on the money. The hurried gas station Gotcha was a world away from the professional conference room atmosphere when we got Sophie. In fact, just about everything about this trip has been different, except for the fact that both girls are amazing and beautiful.

Lost in Translation, China style

It's day 3 with BiBi, and the word of the day is copacetic. (Sorry if you have that song stuck in your head now.) We got up, had breakfast, ran around the hotel, played with toys, jumped on the bed, and everything is just peachy. Everything except for the growing dread that the days are starting to run together and we'll never get out of this hotel again. But for the girls, at least, it's a blast.

In fact, Sophie wrote a new song to express her utter happiness at having a sister to love and share her happy childhood memories with. It's called "The Boobie Song," and Lisa (aka "The Man") absolutely doesn't want this posted to the world.



The lyrics, in case you missed it, go "When the Boobie Song is over... When the Boobie Song is over... When the Boobie Song is over... When the Boobie Song is over..." It's actually quite a mind-bender of a song because it, in fact, never ends, and thus we never learn what happens when the Boobie Song is over.

We have vague notions to go to the Chongqing zoo or maybe dinner or maybe shopping, but it's really hard to plan things. BiBi is a runner, which means that she has to be in a sling on Lisa's front at most times. If we put her down, she's gone, and it's up to Sophie to catch her. Sophie is probably the one person who will come home from this trip weighing less. BiBi eats everything we put in front of her, and Lisa and I just load up on breakfast buffets and then take lots of pictures all day.

The Girls at play

It's 9:30 p.m., and once again we're all wiped out. Jetlag is hanging around like an unwanted houseguest. So, there's really only time for one picture today. It's one of the sweetest yet.

Oh, what the heck -- here's a video about noodles:

Day 2: More of the same, some of the new

BiBi woke up today in a fantastic mood, apparently unconcerned that she was still with us. Seeing her mommy and sister first thing was definitely a good move, and she proved to us once again at breakfast that she can eat with the best of them. Lucky for us, it's an all-you-can-eat buffet in the hotel.

BiBi is an all-around happy kid. With one exception (details later), she just rolls with punches and doesn't get too upset about things. Still, Sophie It's hard to believe they're just 4 months apart.



Monday was the day we officially adopted BiBi by going to a government office and signing, stamping, thumbprinting and collating everything they threw at us. Everything went off without a hitch. Sophie is still suffering some jet lag as she fell cold asleep on my shoulder twice. And then was awake at 4 a.m. wanting to play.

The girls are just perfect together. They play, they bounce, they wrestle, they run. BiBi even tries to say the things that Sophie says like "Bye bye" and "Hello." So far, Sophie has shown none of the jealously or aggressiveness that you sometimes hear about. But their time together has just begun, so that check may be in the mail already.

Last night's bedtime was the one dark spot in our trip so far. As we were all going to bed -- and I literally mean "all" as Lisa and I were bone tired -- Sophie and BiBi tried to switch positions in the bed. That would have put BiBi on the outside of the bed, and when I picked BiBi up to move her to the center, all hell broke loose.

For the next hour, BiBi shreiked and wailed -- grieved is the only way to put it -- and even her beloved mommy couldn't calm her down. She called out in Chinese for her foster parents and home and anything else she could think of. Lisa was exhausted, but eventually they fell asleep together. It was definitely our first true trial together.

Gotta run -- the Backyardigans DVD is almost over, which means parent duty starts again.

We can't take them anywhere

Less than one hour after BiBi and her JaiJai meet for the first time, we were at a restaurant with her orphanage director, our tour guide, our driver and various others. Luckily we had a private room, because the girls were already cooking up ways to entertain -- and soon enough -- to drive mom and dad crazy.



Our friends with two kids say: Welcome to our every day.

Gotcha!

BiBi has only been with us one day, but some things are already clear: she eats like nobody's business, she's smart as can be, and she LOVES her mommy.

She's only been with a few hours now, but already she and Sophie are fast friends. They're running, jumping, yelling, shrieking, and playing all kinds of games that apparently don't require them to speak a single word of the same language.

Sophie's got a considerable height and weight advantage (especially after we peeled off the 5 pounds of clothing they had wrapped BiBi in), but energy-wise they're perfectly matched.

It was an amazing day, and as I write this both girls are sound asleep next to each other, both as beautiful as can be.

Up and at them

It's 6 a.m., and Lisa and I are awake and checking temperatures in Guangzhou and Chongqing. The car is packed, and Sophie is still sleeping, hopefully dreaming about her new sister who's just 48 away. Everything is ready to go as soon as I finish this and walk into Sophie's bedroom to wake her up.

Here goes...

Seeing BiBi's home

If there was one thing we regret from our first trip to China, it's that we never got to see where Sophie lived. Her foster family was (and remains) anonymous, and we weren't allowed to see the orphanage where lived. This isn't unusual -- requests to see orphanages are approved and turned down with a strange bureaucratic whimsy.

This time around, the bureaucratic winds have blown in our favor, and we've been approved to see the DianJiang orphanage where BiBi has spent a large part of her life. This is obviously pretty exciting. We've only see it in pictures and a video taken by another mother who was approved to visit a few months ago. Other people who see their children's orphanages report any range of emotions, from respect to sadness to anger. There's simply no telling what it will be like, but at least we'll have one more piece of the puzzle in our memories.

It's a 4-hour car ride to get there coming just a day after the 16-hour plane flight, but there's no doubt it's worth it. Our first meeting of Sophie was in an impersonal hotel conference room. Our first meeting with BiBi will be in her home.