Fuck you and your Hummer

One of my favorite sites of all time is FUH2.com, better known as Fuck You and Your H2. It's nothing but page after page of pictures of people flipping off Hummers and their yuppie scum drivers.

In case you weren't already appalled by the trucks' environmental damage (less than 10 mpg), how dangerous they are (8,500 pounds), or their tax inequity (owners get a $10,000 federal gift), here's one more thing to hate about them: the company is trying to posit itself as a force for good.

Check out hummerhelps.com (or don't, I don't care). It's a thin collection of stories about how Hummer owners have done something good in a crisis.


Needless to say, there's nothing surprising about any of the stories. Basically, boneheads with various Hummer models drive their urban tanks into the middle of a bad situation. Then they freely admit that others with regular cars are doing exactly the same thing ("Among those that etched an imprint into my heart was Catherine, whose car was still running after Katrina, and was spending every cent she had to make trips to shelters...") if not more.

Don't believe the hype. Hummer is still as evil as it gets, no matter what PR junk they peddle on their website.

The Puzzler: The Answer

This is a follow-up to the Car Talk-style puzzler that I suggested last week.

The answer, of course, is that Jeff isn't crazy. He traded his high-mileage car with Rick only after determining that the Bronco owner has a much longer daily commute than he does.

Let's say Rick (the Bronco owner) drives 30 miles to work -- at 10 mpg, that's 30 gallons of gas per week. Jeff meanwhile drives 30 miles per week at 30 mpg, or 1 gallon of gas. 31 gallons total between the two.

After trading cars, the Rick is now burning 10 gallons of gas per week (still 300 miles of driving, but at 30 mpg) while Jeff has tripled his consumption to 3 gallons. Together, they burn just 13 gallons per week after the trade, which is (I think) 41% more efficient.

The Puzzler

I thought of a puzzler for NPR's Car Talk. I'm going to try it out here and see if it sounds challenging enough to send in.

A man -- let's call him Jeff -- is concerned about the environment and carbon emissions and all that stuff. As a result he drives a 30-mpg Honda Civic and intentionally bought a house only 3 miles from work. One day he's thinking about it, and he realizes he could be doing more for the environment.

So Jeff starts scanning the used car ads until he finds what he considers the perfect car. He goes to meet the owner -- let's call him Rick. They talk for a little bit about family and work and whatnot, and satisfied that this new car runs pretty well, they negotiate a trade.

As Jeff is driving home in his new 10-mpg 1987 Ford bronco 4WD, he contents himself in knowing that he's doing even more to help the environment. Is Jeff crazy, or is he actually reducing emissions?