Sad things

• It's still 48 hours until Lisa gets home
• Jim's bachelor party is over
• The Aristocrats may not play in Charlotte after all because of its content
• First my cell phone broke, and now I've lost it
• The real estate industry thinks you're a dolt if you don't refinance your mortgage all the time to take out cash
• Instead of losing weight this summer like I planned, work and weather conspired to make me gain. As a result, my runs are shorter and less fulfilling.