I'm not a doctor, but I play one in real life

This weekend was extra special: I got to give a shot to someone other than Lisa. Yes, it was a real medical-type shot -- subcutaneous, sterilized, metered dosage, etc. -- which, if mis-delivered, could mess up a complicated fertility program. I always imagined that my first non-Lisa shot would be an emergency situation -- think the overdose scene in "Pulp Fiction" -- where I just get to jam it straight into an organ after first navigating the ribcage. But no such luck.

As I said, the only other person I've administered shots to is Lisa, which meant I could miss, try again, mess up, try again, and it's all no big deal. This time it had to be right: my public reputation as Dr. Stohler was on the line. The patient was nervous (who wouldn't be after the heroic number of cocktails I'd had that night), but I put her at ease with my doctor-type jokes, like when I handed her a needle and thread and said, "Suture self."

Ha ha! Needless to say that put everyone at ease. In fact, everything went so well that I'm thinking about sending a bill for my services. Or at the very least, I'll demand naming rights on the baby. "Dr. Stohler" has a nice ring to it.