How I'll Make my First Million

If I'm convinced of just one thing in this world, it's the money-making potential of America's first true monkey rodeo. It's a pretty simple concept: people love dogs and people love monkeys. Put a monkey in a cowboy suit, put him on a dog, and start collecting cash. And we already have our first star.

Now, I'm just the idea guy here, so someone else will have to provide the startup funding, the PR materials and the monkey-bite disinfectant. Still, it's an idea waiting to explode.

Saturday race results: 1:50:39 finish time, 8:36 pace, 53:24 for the 10k split. 332th out of 1139 overall, 61st out of 121 in my division, 255th out of 587 in my gender. Overall, great numbers and exactly the time I had predicted (plus 39 seconds).

Key moments:

• at mile 6, right foot starts acting up.
• at mile 7, a driver takes too long of a look at the parade of weirdness next to him and has to lock up brakes to avoid hitting car in front. Car lays down 50 ft. of rubber but avoids a rear-end collision.
• at mile 9, the first of two killer hills.
• at mile 11, the second.
• two blocks from finish, extreme fatigue sets in.
• 10 minutes after race ends, eating grilled steak and mashed potatoes provided by Outback.
  
  Post-race and pre-quadriceps pain portrait by Lisa (more online here):